Stepping Out.

It's Mock exam week, which means I am stressed. It also means I should be studying, but of course am procrastinating by watching every youtube video on the planet. Yes I just watched a video on monkeys. Oh what is my life coming to?

Exam week, also means I am relaxing far more than I should be; I can get up slightly later, which means I can stay up later, wasting time scrolling through my tumblr dashboard looking at photos of Starbucks and strangely cute sloths. My mind is probably not where it should be.

Because school is taking up most of my time currently, I thought I may as well just update all of you internet goers, on what is happening in my life. Which quite simply, is not very much.

For all of you who are sitting exams this year, either mocks, mid-terms or end of year ones - I feel you. I feel you on an emotional level, I know what you are going through and I know it is hard, but we must get through this together. For some strange reason, exams have to be one of my favourite times of the year.. apart from sitting in a confined place for three hours while you wrack your brain for the answer to some ungodly question, and have to experience feeling like a criminal when you ask to go to the bathroom, I enjoy the independence. Exam week allows you to study in your own time, visit little cafes and have lunch in between exams while just having a wee break from school. Don't get me wrong for 13 years of my life I have loved school, but now at the age of 17 1/2 I am growing pretty tired of it. It's not the school part that I don't like, it's just that I feel ready to move on with my life; ready to step out into the big wide world. 

I don't even really know what I am trying to get across here, but I am just typing when I should realistically be studying for my classics exam tomorrow. 

School matters, it really does, and I understand that; I have to get good grades, so I can get into Uni etc etc. But at the end of the day life does go on. Maybe this is just an excuse, me living in denial, but I feel ready to move on and leave school life behind. For me personally, school and exams stress me, and I know that they are preparing me for life, and I love stress when it involves doing something that I enjoy, but right about now it isn't. 

From what I know - from watching people in the real world, they left high school and never looked back. Grades were important to get them where they wanted, but it was all soon forgotten.While I freak out, I am desperately trying to remember that while I feel like these grades determine me, they shouldn't. 

This week I handed in My Broadcasting Application, while this was extremely scary, it was also incredibly exciting. I was very proud of what I put together and can now only pray and hope that I will do well. I felt like this was my first step in my new life. 

I guess what I am trying to say is that, I am past school. I have had incredible opportunities, met people that I adore and know I will be lifelong friends with, but I am ready. I look forward to studying what I am passionate about next year, not just 5 subjects that I have to take to get credits. I look forward to being an independent person with my own car, own money and my own dreams. I know life outside school will be difficult. I may have to sleep with 5 pairs of socks on every night, and eat cereal out of the box for a snack, but I know that I will be doing what I love.

I can't wait to travel the world, meet new people, create amazing memories and live the kind of life I know I deserve.

Many people leave school and study something that looks good, and will get a good paying job out of it, and people will say "oh look at them, aren't they good  for doing something like that job." and that may be okay for a while, but after 10 years they will be sick of sitting in a job where they have a repetitive role, but do it because it pays well. For me, I want to do something I feel passionate about, something I love, and something I will strive to be the best in. I can think of nothing worse that doing something just for money. I dream of happiness. 

I need good marks, plain and simple, but once I get them I can't wait to step out into the world and truly experience it. The world is my oyster, and yours, and I believe we should all make the most of it. 

You all deserve to live happy, incredible lives, doing things you love. Please never let other people, or even yourselves get in the way of that. You are capable of achieving your goals and becoming someone you have always strived to be. 

I know who I am, and I cant wait to be myself in a world of individuals.

Soooooo anyway, rant over. Holidays are coming up and I can't wait to have a nice couple of weeks off doing exciting things with great people, and blogging about them. The sun is coming out (so are my pasty white legs - BEWARE) which means walking, reading on the beach and potentially picnics???

This was a rather short post, but I feel like it may be necessary? 

Have a fabulous week, I love you all very muchly and I look forward to talking to you soon.

Lots of Love,

Lucia xxxx